It's me banging my forehead against the wall and screaming, "Oh my gosh, are you kidding me?"
I've lately been reading a lot of articles from "Christians for Biblical Equality," which is a fascinating organization that I'm hoping I can intern for this summer. It sponsors a lot of publications that take on some of the backwards, destructive, and faux-biblical notions (Post-WWII is not the same as biblical, by the way... I'm talking to you, Mark Driscoll) of how men and women are supposed to relate to each other.
I've been keeping an eye on mainstream evangelical presses' publications on men and women -- especially those geared at teenagers -- and the results have been pretty disappointing. To say nothing of Captivating by Stasi Etheridge, which quotes movies more frequently than it quotes the Bible, most of these books encourage young ladies to catch boyfriends by playing weak and baiting in a guy to come rescue them. Rescue them from what? Who cares?! Every girl wants to be rescued, right?...
I'm quoting from CBE's review of The Dateable Rules by Haley Morgan and Justin Lookadoo here to try to paint a picture of what I'm noticing. It's incredibly grim, doesn't particularly flatter men (the descriptions of young men are cringe-inducing), and doesn't affirm girls, either. Here are some highlights.
After talking about a hypothetical girl, who's intelligent, attractive, and independent, who can't seem to get a boyfriend: "She's doing everything he would normally do for her... her independence becomes a deterrent instead of an attractant." (Laura says: Does this make anyone else think of "Mad Men?" That is not a compliment, authors.)
About guys: "In the end, no matter how sweet he is, he is male first. And that means he has one goal, and that is the physical pay-off... Guys are male first, and Christian second." (Laura's note: This is pretty much the underlying message of rape culture. Guys are guys and, morality be damned, they're going to get sex when they want it. Way to affirm this in a Christian bookstore, gentlemen.)
Advice to guys about girls: "At all costs, listen. She will shut up eventually." (There's a guy you want, impressionable 14-year-olds!)
To girls: "Shut up and be mysterious." (Don't make him listen too much, girls... I mean, he's a guy, not a morally responsible, self-aware, conscious human being.)
The image of guys you get here is a sort of bumbling neanderthal who should only have to listen to your blather intermittently between rewarding periods of sexual gratification. And the image of girls you get here is someone who has no choice but to play their corresponding part in the system. Does that sound like a good plan to anyone?
*******EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT***
If you google this book you can find a quiz set up by the authors to find out if you are "dateable." I'm not, but the webpage also assures me that "it's not too late." All I have to do is buy their book!
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